My friend Emma and I have had this conversation numerous times and I'm curious to get the blogosphere's perspective on this issue. It all goes back to one basic ideal: that in friendship, like in war and the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale, there are rules of engagement. Yes, yes...I realize this sounds a bit "90210" (the original one...I don't know who all these skinny 12 year olds think they're kidding) but it's really very simple.
Example #1: you never date a friend's ex.
RIGHT?! I mean, DUH. It's common sense. Another rule is the classic example #2: you always tell your friend when she has spinach in her teeth, toilet paper on her shoe or puke in her hair. (okay, that last one was from my college days but it's still good advice.)
Example #3: you do not befriend your friend's mortal enemy. Now I recently had a friend (former friend) break this rule. This former friend chose to attach herself to the hip of my nemesis, a woman who made my life hell for a year and who I consider to be up there with Fran Drescher and Lindsay Lohan's leggings obsession as one of the most annoying things occurring in nature. Sure, it's slightly immature - why should I care if two sketchy people find happiness in out-obnoxious-ing each other? I should just get over it. And I totally am. Sort of.
But that's actually not what I want your opinion on, fair reader. It does, however, allow for easy segue into the topic I reference in the title of this post. A squid. Now, I didn't develop the name "squid" - that was how a very wise journalist described this phenomena in a recently article.
A squid is a person who too quickly gloms on to your friends, attempting to forge his or her own relationships, cutting you out of the equation. For example, a friend of mine was scheduled to have drinks with a work-girlfriend and, at the last minute, invited a third woman to join them. The next day the third woman (the squid) emailed the work-girlfriend to set up another round of cocktails, this time excluding my gal pal who made the introduction to begin with.
Now it's one thing when you've spent enough time with a person to have developed your own rapport and an actual relationship. But the squid operates differently. The squid is the psychological equivalent of licking every Oreo in the pack to claim them all for yourself. (heartless bastard, that just ain't right...see what I mean?!?)
So tell me friends. Should we add Rule #4: No squidding of your friend's friends to the list? Or are WE the ones licking the Oreos, and selfishly trying to hoard all our friends for our own evil purposes? (And you know what? If that's wrong, I don't wanna be right.)
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