Funny web site!

At the risk of being labeled insensitive to other cultures, please click here to check out this hilarious blog Engrish Funny.

Dorking out with vampires and hobbits...

It's posts like this one that make me wonder whether I'm hurting my street cred by talking about my dorkiness in such a public forum. And then I remember that I have no street cred and all is well in the world once more.

I think I'm turning into a high school uber-dork. I will explain.

First, I love Harry Potter. (no, this isn't what makes me a dork...or maybe it is but I've gone WAY farther down the path of dorkness so this is really just the tip of the iceberg) I read all the books, I've seen all the movies. I've pre-ordered from Amazon, stayed up too late reading about wizard battles, and I cried when Dumbledore died. (if you don't know who Dumbledore is...seriously, are you living under a rock? Get with the program.) My point is that I really REALLY liked those books and so I was pleasantly surprised that the movie makers so effectively captured the color and essence of Harry Potter in the films. That's hard to do, you know? For example, I loooooooved The DaVinci Code but was horrified by how badly Ron Howard butchered the movie. Although in fairness I may have just been distracted by Tom Hanks' horrible hair:



Much time has passed since the last Harry Potter book was released and, if I'm being honest, I sort of missed the tween-targeted fantasy easy reading. So you'll understand why I decided to read Twilight (which my friend Robin passed on to me...so really I blame her for all this). And you know what? Surprise, surprise...I liked it. And if I were a 15 year old girl I think I'd be in love with Edward Cullen, the dreamy and moody (not to mention potentially homicidal...that's so hot) 17-year old vampire.

So last night my friend Emma and I went to see the movie and...um...NO.



Three thoughts come to mind:

1. I'm REALLY glad I read the book before going to see the movie because there's no way I would've chosen to read the story after watching that garbage.

2. She is SO ANNOYING. I mean, I understand the whole angst-ridden teenager thing but SERIOUSLY? The shifty-eyed, dramatic swallowing, shallow breathing, "dad, you so don't get me" thing gets REALLY old after awhile. Hint: it got old after the first two minutes...two hours of it was enough to make me want to get my tubes tied.

3. Did anyone notice Robert Pattinson is sort of hot? I'd seen him in UsWeekly and on blogs and things but my only response to those photos was "please wash your hair." But dang does that boy clean up NICE. Perhaps I just love him because he played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire? Or perhaps it's because I can't resist a brooding piece of chiseled, man-candy with great (read: clean) hair (helloooooo Patrick Dempsey!). But whatever it is that boy is CUTE. Pale, but cute. Maybe a little dirty, but cute.

Long story short - don't waste your time on the movie but do consider picking up the book. I'm currently reading number two (thanks, Emma!) and I'll be sure to report back. I know, I know...you're holding your breath in anticipation...or is that protest? You can thank me later.

Now, if you weren't convinced of my uber-dorkness yet, allow me to throw one more straw on the camel's back. This weekend I TiVo'd ALL THREE Lord of The Rings movies.

Number one was fun. (those hobbits! adorable little imps!) Number two...um...okay, you lost me...but hey, it's three hours of Viggo Mortenson! Hooray!



I'm on to number three tonight and even though I can no longer follow the story line I'm really looking forward to seeing how this ends. But what will I do when it's all over?

I suppose I'll have to join a Dungeons & Dragons club or start attending SciFi conventions...it seems like the logical next step. Who's with me?!

Confessions of a stress eater...

I've always envied people who can't eat when they're stressed. I am not that way. In fact, when I get stressed out I eat more than normal. And it's not just that - I eat CRAP.

Let's take the last two days as an example:

For dinner on Sunday I ate 3/4 of a box of Tagalong girl scout cookies. Maybe that wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't had a box of Cheese Nips 100-calorie packs for breakfast. (for those of you keeping score at home, there are either six or eight 100-calorie packs in a box - I lost track after number five...and I'm fairly certain they're not designed to all be consumed in one sitting) Yesterday I had McDonalds for lunch - chicken strips, fries and a chocolate milkshake, thank you very much - followed by lemonade and gummy bears for dinner.

In my defense, I was at the movies. (I went to see Twilight...which is a whole other blog post.) Still...gross.

I realize of course that this isn't healthy. That just because I'm stressed doesn't mean I should try to induce diabetes. But I can't help it!

I'm reminded of a poem by Shel Silverstein:

I Must Remember
I must remember…
Turkey on Thanksgiving,
Pudding on Christmas,
Eggs on Easter,
Chicken on Sunday,
Fish on Friday,
Leftovers, Monday.
But ah, me – I am such a dunce.
I went and ate then all at once.

Except in my case you'd have to replace the "turkey" with "cheese-flavored foods" and "eggs" with "egg McMuffins."

But today is a new day and I need to learn to channel my energy into something that is not made wholly out of Crisco and cholesterol. I'm not certain what that something will be...but anything has to be better than Death by Girl Scout Cookie, no?

Favorite news story of the day...

From the Associated Press:

Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay
1 hr 37 mins ago

CLEARWATER, Fla. – Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.

The monkey is not considered dangerous.

Happy song time!

Enjoy!

I have a bone to pick...

Uh uh. Oh no you didn't.

I don't know what disgusts me more. The fact that this girl is publicly whoring herself out so brazenly? Or the fact that I didn't think about this first?

I kid, I kid. (sort of...)

Rest in Peace Ricardo Montalban

Ricardo Montalban passed away today at the age of 88. Back when I was a girl and my grandmother would let me stay up late, eating ice cream and watching inappropriate television (like ANY 5 year old should be watching Dallas and The Love Boat?), Ricardo Montalban was a kind of hero for me.

For one, he was one of the first Latinos I saw on regular TV (save for the ocassional Mexican gardener or maid on Dynasty...I told you I watched inappropriate TV...NOW do you understand me?). The only other one was Eric Estrada on CHiPs.



Not as good. I mean sure sure, he was sort of hunky by 1980s standards, but he was just a street cop. Ricardo Montalban...well he was something special. I loved his voice and his accent (the way he sounded like almost every man in my family), I loved his white suit, and his teeny little side kick. And most of all I loved the fact that he could be Hispanic without talking like Speedy Gonzalez or looking like the Frito Bandito.

Mmmmm...Fritos...mmmm. Sorry, this pre-wedding diet is making me a little fragile.

Where was I?

If you didn't grow up watching Fantasy Island here's a little taste...try not to hurt yourself running out to BestBuy for the boxed set:



Ricardo, you'll be missed. Hasta luego, amigo.